Transcript of Kenneth Wapnick YouTube video entitled:
Judgment remains one of the most difficult parts of the ego thought system to let go because it is judgment really that is the ego's bread and butter. Indeed, it's judgment which gave rise to the ego right at the beginning when we made a judgment as one Son of God that God's Love was not enough for us, that we wanted special attention from Him, special favor and, as the Course explains, when God did not grant us that favor we judged against Him by making of Him an unloving Father, namely substituting the ego's god for the true God. And the ego's god is a god who judges us, and since we made this god in our own image and likeness (being a projection of our ego self) then the god that we made is the god...is the self that we made to be our identity, and that self was born in judgment and so that's what we project onto God and therefore He becomes a god of judgment.
All we need to do is read the Bible, Old and New Testament, to see just how judgmental that god is. But he is a god, once again, who's made as a projection of our own negative judgment about ourselves. Namely that we have sinned against our Creator and Source, we're overwhelmed with the guilt over what we believe we've done, we judge ourselves for it, we project that judgment out, and now believe that God will do to us what we secretly believe we did to Him. Well that's the substratum of everybody's mind. That's what is at the bottom of everyone's consciousness that we desperately seek to deny and repress and, as Freud taught us long ago, whatever we repress we would automatically project out. And so the judgments of ourselves, all these (what the Course at one point refers to as our "secret sins and hidden hates") all of these get projected out and we walk this earth filled with judgment. And it’s almost impossible to live in this world without making judgments.
Now we're not talking about the benign judgments that we all have to make in order to exist. We all have to make a judgment to get out of bed in the morning, what we're going to wear, what we're going to eat, whom we're going to spend our time with, etcetera, but by and large these judgments are relatively neutral. But it's the judgments that typically condemn other people and are filled with criticism, these are the judgments we're asked to let go of.
The problem, still once again, is that it is this very judgment that is the source of my existence, and so to let go of this judgment, my ego tells me, means we'll be letting go of who I am, right. That's why it is so difficult to put into practice this very important line, which actually would be a great source of comfort to us if we could accept it, that comes near the beginning of the text where Jesus says to us, "You have no idea of the deep release and peace you will feel when you totally give up judgment." The fact of the matter is, since we all would definitely desire that peace and release from the pain that is our everyday experience, that's the end that we want, we are terrified however of the means that is given to us to achieve that end, namely to give up judgment.
So what is very helpful as we practice this course is to allow ourselves to get in touch with the pain that is inevitable when we choose to separate ourselves from other people and then justify what we've done through these judgments. Anytime we believe anyone outside of us...anyone...is the source of our happiness or our pain, we are making a judgment, and if we believe people are the source of our happiness we think we will love them. That's what the Course calls "special love." But lurking behind the veil of special love is the underlying hate because what happens when you fail to give me what I need? Then the love quickly turns to hate, which is what it always was.
Anytime, again, we believe that someone is the source of our distress on any level we are making a judgment, and by that judgment we are separating ourselves from that person. Rather, what we want to learn and practice is the idea not that we are different from each other, which is what judgment always reinforces, but rather we are all the same. We all share the same need to awaken from this dream of guilt, this dream of judgment, this dream of suffering. We all share that need and therefore we all share the same aspirations to awaken from the dream and return home. It is judgment that began the dream. It is letting go of judgment, which is the essence of forgiveness, that is the way of undoing the dream, awakening us from this nightmare, and returning us home to the God Whom we only believed we left, but who never stopped loving Him, and Whose creation we never stopped loving too.