relationships onto which we project guilt, substituting them for love and our true relationship with God; the defenses that reinforce belief in the scarcity principle while appearing to be undoing it — doing what they would defend against — for special relationships attempt to fill up the perceived lack in ourselves by taking from others who are inevitably seen as separate, thereby reinforcing a guilt that ultimately comes from our believed separation from God: the thought of attack that is the original source of our sense of lack; all relationships in this world begin as special since they begin with the perception of separation and differences, which must then be corrected by the Holy Spirit through forgiveness, making the relationship holy; specialness has two forms: special hate justifies the projection of guilt by attack; special love conceals the attack within the illusion of love, where we believe our special needs are met by special people with special attributes, for which we love them: in this sense, special love is roughly equivalent to dependency, which breeds contempt or hatred.